Sam and Justin (plus Lisa and Sophie)

Okay. so here are some more characters to add to our discussion. Comments, suggestions greatly appreciated. And... what do you think happens at the end of the scene? It needs to end shortly after where it does now, but I'm not sure how.


PITY MONEY
JUSTIN and SAM lounge on a sectional sofa in Justin’s living room. JUSTIN lazily plays with a basketball, spinning it, tossing it, slapping it. SAM is getting annoyed.

SAM
Can you not do that?

JUSTIN
What?

SAM
That.

JUSTIN
This?

JUSTIN slaps the ball.

SAM
Yeah.

JUSTIN
This?

JUSTIN spins the ball on his finger.
SAM
Yeah.

JUSTIN
This?

JUSTIN stands up, dribbles, passes the ball between his knees and slam dunks onto SAM’s head.

SAM
Yeah. That too.

JUSTIN falls back on the sofa.

JUSTIN
Dude. I’m trying here. You’ve gotta help me out.

SAM
Sorry.

JUSTIN
You are sorry.

SAM
It’s not like we can play.

JUSTIN
Sure we can.

SAM
In this rain?

JUSTIN
Why not. It’s better than sitting here like two fat monkeys.

SAM
Maybe I like being a fat monkey.

JUSTIN
Maybe you like moaning over Noelle.

SAM
I’m not moaning.

JUSTIN
(copying Sam)
‘I’m not moaning.’

SAM
I’m chillaxing.

JUSTIN
This is not chillaxing.

SAM
Sure it is.

JUSTIN
No. You have to be chill to be chillaxing. You’re just... laxing.

SAM
You had it. And you lost it.

JUSTIN
I know.

Beat.


SAM
I wish it wasn’t raining.

JUSTIN
Yeah.

SAM
It’s sucking up all of my energy.

JUSTIN
Yeah.

SAM
Why is it rain is either totally depressing or totally euphoric?

JUSTIN
I think it just reflects your mood.

SAM
Are you saying I’m depressed?

JUSTIN
Not clinically or anything.

SAM
Cause I’m not.

JUSTIN
I know.

SAM
I’m just moaning.

JUSTIN
I know.

SAM
My parents think Mikey is. They took him to a psychiatrist.


JUSTIN
Mikey’s not depressed. He’s just a sophomore.

SAM
That’s what I said. Lisa’s like that too?

JUSTIN
Oh yeah. She’s probably in her room crying right now ‘cause she doesn’t know what to wear.

SAM
Really?

JUSTIN
I don’t know. It wouldn’t surprise me. (beat) What’d the shrink do? Put him on drugs?

SAM
I don’t know. He hasn’t said anything and my parents suddenly think it’s a private matter and tell me to stop being nosy when I ask.

JUSTIN
Does he seem any different?

SAM
No. Still weird as always.

JUSTIN
Good.

SAM
Today when he got home from school, he went straight to his room and put on his suit, the one he wore to Homecoming. When he started to leave I asked him where he was going and he said, “Nowhere if I’m lucky.” And then he just walked outside. No jacket. No umbrella. No destination. He must have gotten soaked.

JUSTIN
That’s awesome.

SAM
Or mental. I’m not sure which.

JUSTIN
I think it’s the people that don’t do stuff like that who are crazy. I mean, it’s kind of an absurd thing to be alive. And it’s even more absurd to take it so seriously and try to make sense out of everything. Sometimes things just don’t make sense. Might as well follow whatever whims you’ve got. Maybe they’ll even enlighten you. Or maybe you’ll just look ridiculous. But at least you did something instead of wasting away waiting for life to be explained to you in neat little answers that don’t and won’t ever exist.

SAM
Do you think that’s what we’re doing now? Wasting away?

JUSTIN
No. I mean, we’re not exactly out there living it up at the moment, but we certainly have before. I think there have to be down times or we’d all be manic.

SAM
We’ve never dressed up in our suits and walked around in the rain.

JUSTIN
No. But we used to dress up in my dad’s scuba gear and pretend we were underwater knights in search of the sunken Holy Grail.

SAM laughs.

SAM
Oh my god. I forgot about that! We’d have fencing duels in the sprinklers and use snorkels as our swords.

JUSTIN
Uh huh. And we’d always trip over our fins. I think I almost broke my nose on one fall.

SAM
I remember we always had really creative Holy Grails. Didn’t we use a kitchen strainer or something once?

JUSTIN
A colander. And we got grass stains on it. My mom was pissed.

SAM
That was fun.

JUSTIN
Yeah.

SAM
Why did we ever stop? I don’t think growing up was worth giving that up.

JUSTIN
Yeah. Except maybe for the girls.

SAM
I don’t know.

JUSTIN
Oh stop.

SAM
Can you imagine if we would have showed up at prom in our wetsuits? That could have been great.

JUSTIN
Yeah. I’m sure Noelle would have loved that.

SAM
I don’t know. Maybe. (beat) Noelle used to be pretty crazy. Remember when she dyed her hair green?

JUSTIN
Yeah. That kicked.

SAM
Yeah.

JUSTIN
It’s still in her somewhere. In all of us, I hope.

SAM
I don’t know. All she ever does is talk about The Future. And me going away to college.

JUSTIN
You decide yet?

SAM
No. You?

JUSTIN
Nah. I’m stalling for as long as possible.

Beat. They listen to the rain.

SAM
I don’t mind that we’re not doing anything.

JUSTIN
Yeah. I’m kind of glad it’s raining.

SAM
Yeah. (beat) Did I ever tell you about that night with Noelle in the Sunshine Church parking lot?

JUSTIN
Sunshine Church.... hmmm... parking lot... don’t think so.

SAM
It was right when we started going out. It was pouring, like this, and Noelle didn’t have to be home yet so we parked at the church and I really wanted to kiss her but every time I’d start to lean in, she’d start singing. And then when she finally shuts up and it seems like the perfect moment, I lean over again, slowly this time, and she looks at me and bats her eyes and then she suddenly opens the door, jumps out, and starts running around in the rain. I wasn’t sure if she didn’t want to kiss me or was just playing some game and I was pissed, but oh my god was she hot soaking wet like that.

JUSTIN
Was she wearing a white shirt?

SAM
Hell yeah.

JUSTIN
Hell yeah.

SAM
So I stopped being pissed and got out of the car and started chasing her around the parking lot.

JUSTIN
And then you caught her?

SAM
And then I caught her. That was a first kiss.

JUSTIN
Sounds like it.

Beat.

SAM
Pshaw.

JUSTIN
You guys will get over it. You always do.

SAM
Yeah. We’ll see.

JUSTIN
You hungry?

SAM
(holding up a finger, pausing)
... Affirmative.

JUSTIN
Pizza?

SAM
... Negative.

JUSTIN
No pie?

SAM
No dinero.

JUSTIN
I’ve got you.

SAM
You got me the last 10 times.

JUSTIN
So I’ll get you this time too.

SAM
No.

JUSTIN
Come on. We’re hungry. It’s raining. We need pizza so I’ll get it.

SAM
I don’t want your pity money.

JUSTIN
Whatever.

JUSTIN gets out his wallet.


SAM
I’m serious. I’m not going to eat it.

JUSTIN throws his wallet at SAM while he looks for his cell phone.

JUSTIN
Yes you are. Make sure I’ve got twenty.

SAM
I’m not your ho.

JUSTIN calls the pizza place.

JUSTIN
Yes you are. Pepperoni?

SAM
And Pineapple.

SAM looks in the wallet.

JUSTIN
(on phone)
Cooper. Large Pepperoni with Pineapple. And a giant order of buffalo wings. Extra hot.

SAM
Uh… Dude. Not even close to twenty.

JUSTIN
No way.

SAM
But you’ve got a two dollar bill.

SAM takes the two dollar bill and throws the wallet at JUSTIN.

JUSTIN
That’s it?

SAM
I haven’t seen one of these in forever.

JUSTIN
(on phone)
Uh, can you hold on that order? I’ll call you back. Sorry.
(looking in wallet)
Where did all of my money go? I had tons of them and I should…. Ohhhh. Nope. I’m a schiznat.

SAM
A schiznat with tons of two dollar bills? Where did you get them?

JUSTIN
At the bank. I was cashing a check and the teller was being a turd so when he asked me how I wanted my money, I told him I wanted it in two dollar bills. I was being sarcastic but he took it for real and so I had like a hundred of these things but every time I went to buy something with them someone would comment on how cool they were and I’d end up giving them one.

SAM
Instead of your two cents?

JUSTIN
Huh?

SAM
Nevermind.

JUSTIN
I didn’t mean to give them all away though.

SAM
You gave away two hundred dollars?

JUSTIN
Probably more like one hundred. I spent some.

SAM
So this is your last two dollars?

JUSTIN
I think so. Sorry. No pizza.

SAM
(looking at the bill)
It is pretty cool.

JUSTIN
We could make mac ‘n cheese.

SAM
If I had one I don’t think I’d spend it.

JUSTIN
That’s what everyone says. We might have pizza rolls too.

SAM
Who’d you give them all to?

JUSTIN
I don’t know. Whoever asked.

SAM
Strangers?

JUSTIN
A few.

SAM
But you didn’t think to give me one?

JUSTIN
You weren’t around. You were fighting with Noelle.

SAM
Well I’m around now.

JUSTIN
You’re not taking my last one.

SAM
You’ll spend twenty on a pizza but you won’t give me a measly two dollar bill?

JUSTIN
Nope.

SAM
Come on. Please?

Doorbell rings.

JUSTIN
I’ll give it to you if, and only if, this is some beautiful blonde babe who’s wearing a white t-shirt and wants to take me to a parking lot to kiss in the rain.

SAM
Thanks. I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

JUSTIN opens the door. It is Lisa’s friend SOPHIE (she has a crush on him). SOPHIE is carrying her pillow and backpack.

JUSTIN
Sophie…

SAM laughs.

SOPHIE
Hey…

JUSTIN
… You here for Lisa?

SOPHIE
… Yeah…

JUSTIN
Gonna take a nap together?

SOPHIE
What?

JUSTIN
You’ve got your pillow.

SOPHIE
Oh. Ha. Yeah…. Well. I’m staying over.

JUSTIN
Oh, right.

SOPHIE
Clare and Maggie and Sara are coming too.

JUSTIN
Oh really….

SOPHIE
She forgot to tell you?

JUSTIN
Lisa forgets a lot of things.

SAM
She’s a sophomore.

SOPHIE
Oh. Ha. Right.

JUSTIN
Be nice, Sam. Sophie’s a sophomore too.

SOPHIE
Yeah. But I’m a super cool sophomore.

SAM
Supercool sophomore Sophie.

SOPHIE
Exactly. But you’ve got to say it like a French person with bad English.


JUSTIN
(like a French person)
Supercool?

SOPHIE
(like a French person)

Super.

SAM
Two dollar bills are super cool.

SOPHIE
You’ve got a two dollar bill?

SAM
Justin has a two dollar bill.

SOPHIE
You do? Can I see it?

SAM
If you take him to a parking lot…

SOPHIE
You’ve got a thing for parking lots?

JUSTIN takes the bill from SAM and hands it to SOPHIE.

JUSTIN
Only for parking my car. Here. You can see it and you can keep it.

SOPHIE
Really? Thanks. (looking at it) Wow. I haven’t seen one of these in forever...

SAM
He’s just supercool.

JUSTIN
I am.

LISA comes down. She’s wearing something slightly ridiculous. She rolls her eyes at JUSTIN.

LISA
(to JUSTIN)
You’re not. (to SOPHIE) Hey. How long have you been here?

SOPHIE
Not long.

LISA
(to JUSTIN)
Thanks for getting me.

JUSTIN
Thanks for telling me you were having people over.

LISA
You’re welcome.

SAM
Cute outfit.

LISA
You think?

SAM
Totally. Love the polka dots.

JUSTIN
Especially with the stripes.

LISA
Thanks, Sam. (to Justin) He is supercool. You are not.