give me some lovin'
So there's going to be some lovin' in this play. We've got Gretchen's older sister and Rainboy's older brother who are dating (and actually in a fight at the beginning of the play). And then Justin almost runs over Gretchen and they get flirty. And then who knows what is possibly between Rainboy and Poet -- they obviously connect on some level.
So lets talk about love. What do you want/hope for/dream of? What do you think is cheesy and you'll have no part of? What about soulmates... do you believe in them? Do you think it's possible for people your age to find their soulmates and if they can and do, what then?
What are the ups and downs of love and infatuation and good old-fashioned flirting?
So lets talk about love. What do you want/hope for/dream of? What do you think is cheesy and you'll have no part of? What about soulmates... do you believe in them? Do you think it's possible for people your age to find their soulmates and if they can and do, what then?
What are the ups and downs of love and infatuation and good old-fashioned flirting?
posted by Joy at 1:57 PM
21 Comments:
I'm with you Kyle. I don't think Rainboy and Poet fall in love or anything... but I wonder if the question isn't there. I mean, isn't that question always sort of there when a guy and a girl become close, even as friends?
Yes, I think it's about them getting to know each other.
And... you do have some experience playwriting... your 6 line scenes and monologue certainly count. Besides, your opinions are valid. That's why we've got this blog... I want to write this play for you guys. Ultimately, yes, I make the decisions but I'm listening and taking notes all along...
I like the idea of Gretchen's older sis and Rainboy's older brother together and Justin and Gretchen but I'm not sure what I think about Rainboy and the poet. I think they should connect but not romanticly. I think sometimes when every charater ends up hooking up with someone else it might take some of the meaning away. Rainboy and Poet's realationship might be more powerful if they were friends. I too think people can be soulmates without having anything sexual between them. On the other hand, you would know better than I because I've never been in love or had a soulmate.
Wow, I came in on this topic late, let me see if I can catch up. First off, Kyle, I'll fight you. Secondly, I don't know if I beleive in soul mates for the simple fact that I don't know if I beleive in the soul. If there is a soul I believe there are, of course, soul mates. I think that a soul mate is just someone that you are meant to be with. If there is no soul then I believe that there are certain people in the world that are compatible for eachother. I don't think that you have to have any sort of spiritual connection to them for one simple fact; some people aren't spiritual. Do these kinds of people get no soul mate? Or if not a soul mate, no life partner? I agree with Kyle when it comes to people our age. Kids think that they are in love with everyone that they date for more then a year. I am almost sorry to say that I have never been in love, but I can't imagine that all of these kids are finding love in every person that they date. I have always thought of love as a much deeper thing than that. Anyone can stand to be with someone for a couple years but to know that the two of you are actually in love with eachother? I don't think that that happens every day. I think that some people do find the one for them early in life but not as much as kids think these days. Dang wippershnappers!
Now I disagree with Kyle when it comes to harmless flirting/fun. It seems to me that there is nothing wrong with a bit of harmfless fun. You're not hurting anybody. I think there is a difference, however, between casual flirting and being in a relationship that isn't going anywhere. I think that the point of being in a realtionship IS to see if the two of you are going to have a future together. If you know that you're not looking for a future with someone, then you shouldn't be dating them and that maybe harmless flirting is a better realtionship for the two of you. I do, believe that there is a place for fun and a place for actual romance, which is an awesome idea to me. I envie that sort of boundless loving relationship that can exist between two people. Although I must say that I have a, probably poetic/fantastic idea of what love really is and I almost feel hyporcritical talking about all this stuff as if I know what I'm talking about. But what can ya do?
Damn it, I forgot to talk about the play. I really don't want to see the poet and Rainboy in any sort of romantic relationship. It annoys me that a guy and a girl can't ever be friends without the idea of a romantic relationship arising. I would really like to see a friendship between them that doesn't even bring up the idea of romance between them, simply because it doesn't happen that often. But that's just me.... and that other guy.
I am not soulless. If you payed any attention to my last post you would know that. Biatch!
By the way that last post was a joke. I know I'm not funny. I'm gonna go cry myself to sleep. Wake me on May 19th.
By the way that last post was a joke. I know I'm not funny. I'm gonna go cry myself to sleep. Wake me on May 19th.
Ah, now I see what's going on. If you're computer's taking a long time, don't click the publish button again because it posts it twice. It's all making so much sense now. The view is clear. I can die in peace.
Here, lemme stick one more post in here just to be annoying. I'm not saying that I think souls don't exist or that they do. I'm saying I don't know. But I think that either way, there is an equivalent to a soul mate, because I think it's obvious that some people have that sort of connection that others would refer to as them being soulmates.
I think that Hollywood has turned the idea of a "soul mate" into a cliche. But I think that, in some cosmic way, two people truly can be right for each other more than anyone else.
My Great Uncle Joe was in the army during WWII, and one of his good friends from his troop died in action. Joe went to tell his friend's widow Shirley the sad news...and it wasn't long until they themselves were married. They've been together for over 50 years, have several children, and Joe still buys her a red rose every week.
To me, things like that have to be part of a grander, divine setup that we don't see. The problem only comes in when people bide their time waiting for something extraordinary ("a sign") to signal that their relationship is the right one. People are afraid to trust their intuition. Is a little trial and error such a bad thing? I think it helps build character.
Poet and Rainboy seem to be above the conventional teen relationship (flirting, etc.). Not only that, but I think they realize it too. So I don't think they'd ever try dating each other or anything.
I guess this post has been pretty inconclusive, but I adore the story of how Shirley and Joe met. It really strengthens any belief I had in star-crossed lovers actually existing.
So, here is my kinda long post...I think today is a verbose day.
As someone who has slowly started getting to "that age" where you ARE supposed to date someone with the idea of things going "somewhere" let me tell you how odd the feeling is.
I dated someone for 4 years, starting from when I was a sophomore in college to the middle of last summer, when I was about to turn 23.
When we were younger, 19 and 20, people didn't seem to heed our relationship as much more than dating. We liked, dare I say loved, eachother, and I was certain that there wasn't a better fit for me out there.
BUT, when I turned 21, started my senior year and looked towards graduation and the future, the biggest question people started tossing at me was, "Are you guys getting married!?" and most were stunned when I said that I wasn't thinking about much more than getting out of Austin and moving back to Chicago. "Is he moving there too?" He was, though in retrospect that was a bad idea.
The thought of our relationship needing to advance to that point made me want to set my hair on fire. And, subsequently, combined with several other factors, things started to break down. We both grew-up, grew apart, and had to think really hard about the fact that in some senses, our 4 years went "nowhere."
I don't feel that is exactly true, but in the minds of girlfriends, they would say things like, "don't you feel upset that you spent all that time in college dating someone who wasn't it?" This is even more infuriating to me, because heck, you don't know until it happens if someone is right for you, and sometimes eventhough relationships fall apart, it doesn't mean they weren't good for you when you had them, or an important part of the patchwork of your life.
The reason I say all this is because I think its important to be involved in a relationship where you "see things going somewhere" in the sense that you both continue to learn and grow from eachother. Thats enough progression. You want to share experiences and laugh and have someone to lean on, romantic or not.
The idea of a relationship as a vehicle that you have to ride in to get through time is sad and somewhat obnoxious. You should feel free to spend time with people you care for, or are starting to care about for the fact that you enjoy them and their company. Just to stick it out because it "ought to go somewhere" will make you nutso.
p.s. I also understand that in highschool the idea of a relationship "going somewhere" versus "random hooking up" is a different animal...but I'm just sayin'...
Kyle, I don't think that Bridgit is talking about dating people in a pointless relationship. When we (me, kristin, bridget) refer to hooking up we're refering to fooling around without any intention of getting involved romantically. These things are fun and fun is good. :-)
Scott, you need to grow a long white beard and speak in an asian accent so that you match the things you say.
Which is almost comforting, in a way. Then you don't have to bend over backwards for the inevitable. I guess there's some merit in "going with the flow."
I agree, I think that that is an excellent way to deal with things/relationships.
I’ve gotta say, I don’t have much experience in this area so all of this I say now will probably (hopefully) change in years to come, but for now, honestly, I worry about love a lot. All that you guys have said was really beautiful but I don’t have anything to say like that. I’ve never been in love. I’ve never been kissed, never had a boyfriend and never been on a date. Well, I’ve been on one date—ridiculously uncomfortable. He spent the whole night shaking and blushing and I spent the whole night exploring new ways to fold my napkin and trying not to look at him in fear of him like puking or exploding or something. He was the only guy who’s ever been attracted to me and I’m not sure if I liked it too much…AT ALL. And me, I’ve never even really had a crush, well a couple of times but not like REAL crushes that people always talk about—never anything more than a little twitterpated, and I don’t know if I like that either. It feels more to me like anxiety than love. I know because I have experienced love just not ‘love.’ Just because I’m single doesn’t mean I don’t have friends and a family that I care about. I love my friends very much, I worry about them and pray for them, and think about them all the time, and I wonder if they know how much I care about them and if I know how much they care about me. From what I’ve heard that’s the same as an ‘in love’ relationship minus the physical attraction. If physical attraction is the only thing that separates love and ‘love’ then the only people who could ever fall in love are people who are witty and have pretty eyes and perfect hair. My hair never does what I want it to do and my eyes are boring and I don’t really talk that much so if I were witty no one would even know. If that’s what love is than I think it’s shallow and a waste for me to daydream about it all the time (even though I do). And if love isn’t like that, if its just someone you care about who makes you happy, who you want to talk to all the time and sit next to and make gifts for, then how will I know the difference between ‘love’ and just love? What if I do end up falling in love and I don’t even notice because I pass it off as friendship? Then what happens—I become a hermit? I’d rather not be lonely.
Wow Daniella. That really got me thinking...and I can really connect to a lot of what you said too. But I think that maybe a lot of people our age worry about the same thing, in one form or another..and maybe that's why they're often so desperate to find the "love of their life" at age fifteen. Maybe they really want to prove to themselves that romance is more than just a synonym for lust.
And anyway, I think that once people start worrying about love, they have a better understanding of it. Those "perfect people" you were talking about (and I totally know what you mean) have a terrible disadvantage; since they've always had people at their disposal, if you will, they've never had to consider love on a serious level, or even know what it is or feels like. And that's no good either.
Twitterpated is my new favorite word...
Yea that whole lunch table thing is true. For the record, Dani, I agreed completely.
I'm gonna go cry myself to sleep..... Seriously...
I like bits and pieces of what pretty much everyone has typed here, especially Marnie's bit about how the idea of that perfect person has really been skewed by Hollywood and such. I also agree with what Kristin said about how there really is no such thing as one soul mate, and that the people that you love and can confide in (your best friends) are your soul mates. I don't know if I like the whole idea of all of somebody's love belonging to one person alone; rather I think that you can spread your affection for different people on many different levels and in many different ways.
I think that it would be interesting to see something like that go on in the play. It seems like a relationship between Justin and Gretchen would be the kind of quick "high school" fling that happens way too much- those relationships that have no meaning, but it's pretty much like "Hey, I'm single and so are you so let's date for the next two weeks" rather than a meaningful relationship. On the other hand, I think it would be interesting to see how Poet and Rainboy connect on a less "official" note, and rather on a love for each other that has strong emotional attachments (what most people would call romantic love), but still be able to explore the idea of not holding all of their love to just one person.
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